The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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