Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
