i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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