Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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