I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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