Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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