Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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