covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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