shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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