I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
