brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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