I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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