Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
