i just had sex bonerless
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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