It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
