All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
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I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
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I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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