i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
