I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
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I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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