so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Welp...herpes.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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