If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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