He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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