glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
