I'm eating all of the evidence.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
