Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
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They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
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You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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