The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
don't judge my taste in strippers
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize