i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
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oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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