How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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