aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
