So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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