yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
