hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Randomize
