Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
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He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
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Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize