i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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