i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm passing your future prison.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
