I think I died a long time ago.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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