I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
