I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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