The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
