i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
