Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
