i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
