those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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