DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
