also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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