I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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