brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
