WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
