my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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