Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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