is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
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WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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