I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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