2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize