Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
