she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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