do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
