i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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