I'm really into asian looking animals
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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