Just fell off a train. Bad.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
