____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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