Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The struggles of a small town man whore
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
