worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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