i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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