I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
