shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
