I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
